Last week with a strong sense of trepidation I began cutting down the amount of steroid cream I mix with my skin cream. I make my own. It’s a mix of Shea butter, coconut oil, Myrrh oil and calendular. Until now I would add a smidgen of steroid cream as I applied it to my skin. As I think I’ve described in previous entries I am aware that this steroid cream has been acting like glue in my system. Actually that’s all it does on the surface too. Steroid cream is basically plastic glue and it kind of gels everything together for a short time until you think you need more. What happens is the skin dries out and begins to itch (a lot) and you feel so desperate that you keep on applying it for the very temporary relief it provides. If you are like me you tend to then go into denial about the fact that the cream is now actually causing the symptoms and you become locked into a cycle of toxicity. Addicted, your body also hates the cream, it attempts to rid itself of it and through the itching, you scratch, hopefully you open the skin and allow the bile to do it’s job in the form of a puss like liquid; the oozeing so often described in the sulphur like ‘exzema’ or ‘psoriasis’ picture. But these generic labels are describing the body’s desperate attempts to rid the body of toxins specifically the hundreds of utterly nasty substances in the steroid cream. These skin expressions are simply signposts to a deeper set of bodily processes that are struggling. So slapping thick lardy creams all over the surface of the skin will merely cripple the flow of lymph and bile further. So if you are like me and your liver, kidneys and lymphatic system are sluggish because of stagnation, the process is already hindered. Like pouring sugar into a car’s petrol tank ,it’s a really bad idea. This is what I’ve been doing because I am so scared of having another flare-up and looking and feeling like a monster again. I feel like an idiot and simultaneously I am remembering to be kind to myself and continue to be open to learning from all of my choices.
I started using the steroid cream last January. I was just out of the Pneumonia woods. My body was desperately trying to clear out the enormous amount of antibiotics and other nasty substances that were administered through a drip during my stay in Lewisham Hospital. At the time I had rightly decided to do just about everything they told me to do because I was struggling for my life. But when I was discharged my body really wanted to flare-up. It was very very intense. I was itching twenty-four hours a day and I was very sleep deprived. I felt very low indeed. So I made the decision to use the steroid cream in order to have some respite. It got me out of a hole emotionally and physically. Now it’s gone too far and I’ve reached a place that I knew I would come to eventually. Everything points to this. I am making great progress with my health but always only to a point and then I just go around and back again. As if one foot is held down.
It’s been 24 hours with absolutely no steroid cream. I’ve been awake for most of the night itching and scratching. I’m feeling strong and calm. I have my caster oil pack at the ready, a good liver soothe.Thamks to Courtney White for this useful link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDZATQEBmVo
I’m back to juicing four times a day and two enemas to help ease the colon and liver strain. I’m whittling off unnecessary activities that might stress me and I’m really remembering to breathe. Particularly to exhale. Bring it on Caroline!
So it’s time to have another look at my self-image. How this ties in with the way I am in the world and how loved I feel. In this I might ask myself what my perception might be of how others view me. More importantly, what my psyche has decided might happen if I am not perceived or ‘seen ‘ in a certain way by others. What I do to me. This is brave territory indeed. Particularly if I am to share it with you and if I do, it is my wish that the next leg of my journey may resonate with some of you. For now I’m closing my eyes and making a promise to myself to keep on writing.
HORRAH HORRAY!
I THINK I’VE CRACKED THE CLICK ON IT LINK THING.TRY THIS FOLKS AND PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT LET ME KNOW HOW YOU GET ON. JUST HIGHLIGHT AND RIGHT CLICK ON THE LINK.
Today’s song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tux7eKFZn30&list=RDtux7eKFZn30 - t=0
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