I celebrate myself! And NO.I am not dying!
I can't find myself..I liked how I looked here, only last May..and I'm forced to re-evaluate all that I valued about myself. Not much when I think about how upsetting it is to loose my looks again and again. It may be temporary.I do hope so. But maybe not. Ten months feels more permanent than temporary, and I've aged. About ten years.
Yes I've had yet another big flare-up healing crisis thingy this month and it's dragging on, still manefesting and I'm left with pretty low levels of confidence in myself and what I'm doing. I want to go out on Sunday. The lovely Daniel Lehan's Kitchen Window Gallery has another intriguing event. Darren Callow.http://thekitchenwindowgallery.blogspot.co.uk/.23%2Bat%2B16.33.jpg" />
I really need some encouragement and maybe some hugs now because although I
know that what I'm doing for myself is the right thing, there's also this fear of letting everyone down; proving the sceptics right by "failing"; getting more sick or (at 4 a.m) dying. So I don't often admit to the days when I am simply terrified that I may not be healing..and in my darkest moments, that I may be slowly getting worse and worse....This is my reality today. This week has been very tough. However for those who are sceptical I'd like to remind you that I was very unwell first; the Gerson/natural approach to my treatment plan came in
response to the illness and the lack of alopathic options already tried. It didn't
cause it. Also what would you advocate I do? Take more supressive drugs use Chemicals? I've done this and it doesn't work in fact the UV light treatment made things much worse and the steroids just poisoned me further.
That said this has been a good week as well. Oh the pardoxes in my life! I decided to do a silent self-retreat this week on the advice of my lovely new lodger who is a seriously good yoga teacher.
She really was sent to me for a reason... No speaking for three days and an hourly schedule of beautiful enriching yoga, music, inspirational teachings and meditations throughout the day. Absolute Heaven!! I am learning the real benefits of Yoga from an expert. As she has pointed out, if I take time to learn it properly I can heal myself for free. It's true. What's more I am now going to share with you my new friend Mr Joseph Anthony who has picked me up once again with his pioneering spirit, please listen and/or do the EFT tapping with him. Fabulous if you need a boost,or just listen and feel the benefits, really, try it..step into my sheepskin slippers for a few minutes, you won't regret it. He's really turned me on to Walt Whitman too.Genius.
Over and out now b'bye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YYux4DPk4o
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